The thing with painting people is this, everyone wanted to get naked and get painted until it’s time to get naked. Then they would rather be in underwear and a tank top.. this makes moving forward with volunteers pretty difficult. I do have amazing friends however, and while I did experience this at first a little bit mostly my friends like to get naked with me. What do you do, right?
Read MoreMusic Binge - Vol 2 - Youtube collection
Come along again as we sail the seas of cheese, or at least the seas of youtube. music binge vol 2!
Read MoreThis tree is on fire
No matter which emotion Jennings portrays, he paints an irreverent, psychedelic portrait for listeners.
Read MoreWhat if all hypothetical sexual questions were literal?
We experience all life from birth to death, on our own. No lovers have ever successfully conjoined so far as to experience as one being.
This is your shot in this lifetime .
This is your partners shot in this lifetime
There is no next time.
You, here, now.
Don’t waste it, don’t be ashamed of yourself, and don’t shame your partner. Raise them up.
Embrace them, join them
Read MoreChaos, in the flesh.
Sometime between living in my apartment and moving to my house. Evan and I went to the movies to see a Rob Zombie flick. We grew up on horror, I can’t even tell you what movies I’ve even watched at this point because stuff was just always on while we lived together. Even if nobody was watching. At any given time somebody was getting stabbed, eaten, chainsawed, chainsawing themselves, chainsaw dueling.. There was always a little of the ole’ Ultra Violence around.
Going to see that particular movie struck a creative chord and sent us reeling. We had all these wild psychedelic visuals floating around in our brains.
Soon after this we discovered horror conversations. Places where you can buy rare & pirated obscure horror stuff and meet the stars of your favorite underground films.
This was a special time for us. We were checking film stars off of mental checklists left and right. To this day Tom Savini just turns me right off. He’s so good at his job but what a fucking crotchety old man.
So we got this idea, we’re going to make a movie. We were serious! We’ve seen Uncle Lloyd putting out obscenely, wonderfully, terrible horror flicks for years, we could too.
We got a $200 Best Buy camera and tripod and set to work. We started with improv shock scenes. A devil dancing. Bloody people. Weird stuff.
We cast our friends, then recast them when we all fell out.
The whole thing was improvised. We planned scenes based on other scenes and there’s no real cohesion at all but it fucking ruled!Scene after scene of gun violence, machete battles, and chubby guys with their shirts off. You really don’t know what you’re missing.
We had a friend come film once, and shot a scene of us arguing about southern rock songs with fake hillbilly accents and suspenders. Most of it was us saying “fuckin” while we desperately floundered in our brains for coherent things to say. But to the overall theme it’s endearing. There’s even a celebrity cameo, although he was just our friend back then. A local artist who’s hit it big with his art series on mental illness. It’s rad.
We spent an entire year filming and editing and when we got to the last scenes and finally closed the thing up we were so goddamn relieved.
The final filming day found us in 2 feet of snow playing with guns. We knew going into it that we had no plan but nobody was there to tell us we couldn’t do it, so we did
This movie was done.
It didn’t take me long to turn the whole thing into a dvd package complete with menus and bloopers. Seriously this shit is whack.
At the tail end of filming this movie “Hobbitfilms” was being conceived, HFP for short. Rooster Evan & I would hatch some grand ideas here and would go on to book a lot of hardcore and Metalcore shows in the future including Attila, on their early tours.
Evan, Rooster (who would shortly be moving in) and myself had an idea to throw a screening party. We contacted a roller rink and booked it.
We started scouring the internet for rad bands and found nothing in our area, but in Akron we hit the jackpot.
Die Like A Samurai, Eviscerated, Dimaura, Disgust for the Weak.. there were so many face ripping bands.
As it turns out Aron In Die like a Samurai, DLAS, was a grammar school mate that moved away in 6th grade. We’re all STILL celebrating this reunion.
We got our bands and decided what if we found artists to sell and show their things. So we did. We invited whoever we could find that sold sweet stuff and made a thing out of it.
Ron, a lifelong musical wizard and soul friend, brought in an entire Uhaul full of ProAudio equipment from the company he worked for. I mean a full stage, 8 cab pa not counting monitors, subs, and that was just the stage. The sound booth was a built up on a lifted platform, he tuned the skating rink with lasers, and these guys might not have known it, but it was the best every one of them has ever sounded.
Well over $50k worth of sound equipment in the hands of a couple kids throwing a diy show.
We screened the film in the background while for 4 or 5 hours these brutal bands ripped. Hobbit film productions was officially on.
There is a trailer for the movie, and I have a hard copy somewhere, but it has to this day never been released.
Probably less then 20 people have seen the entire thing, outside of the “Chaos at the Roller Hut” screening.
Inkstains
Trailing the curves of coffins, black stains skin deep.
Skin blazing, striking envy in the heart of the writhing bitter sun. Cosmic instantaneous birth, forever unfolding In an erotic Sisyphean utopia. All in a moment. Then we put it away in a quiet place to get through the day and with hot blood in our ears we pretend not to hear it roar.
How I became a Ghost, again.
We’re heading into our first show as this 3 piece and we’ve had to turn down 2 record Offers. One was really hard to turn down, but we truly wanted to release this first record by ourselves.
Read MoreGenesis, the apartment. Part II - Missile Helmet
Every person I watched smoke Salvia wound up with a terrible expression on their face for fifteen minutes and a fucked up evening. I passed.
Read MoreWelcome Traveler
What knowledge have you come here seeking?
Music Binge vol 1 - Youtube Collection
We’re going on our first youtube Journey together. Forget pants, grab some headphones! This ones going to take a while and when we’re done you’ll be forever haunted. <3
Read More700 miles to Graceland. An Asphyxian Tour story.
Earlier in life I sang in a band called Asphyxian. It was this fun horror rock band. This an Asphyxian story.
It was 2012, We had been a band for about 9 months or so, released an album and were working with a new-ish local booking and management company. They got us on this “big show” in Memphis TN on Beal St. like 700 miles away..
Geneses, the apartment Part 1 - Pussy Control
When I was 18 I moved out into an apartment with the drummer the of band I was in. I had just started dating a local girl after years of various long distance relationships and our sex game was (at the time) next level. Living at home meant I had rules. This was not in the cards for me. Rules meant that I couldn’t lay naked perpetually with the captain of the cheerleading squad. I really don’t know if she was the captain or not but the outfit ruled. I could be mixing my cheerleaders
Read MoreSelf-fucking-Love. This shit is hard guys..
This one is a bit NSFW, and it’s a mans body this time around.. you’ve been warned ahead of time.
We’re talking about self love & body positivity, and that’s some shit I just never was able to conquer. This is deep stuff, and I lightweight feel exposed. I also feel it’s important for real growth to just be gravy with who the fuck you are and how the fuck you feel.
Read MoreI love the dead..
Once upon a time I had this super cool idea to airbrush people. I started by painting a canvas, then I’d find a model to paint and we’d do a photo shoot.
Some of these ruled.. others...
So I started out with this bloody pavement canvas and I thought I’d start with a simple idea, paint the model into a corpse.
I believe it was Nina who mentioned it to this girl we worked with and she was like suuuuper into it. It’s important to note that there was no *waves hand around* thing here.
At least if there was, I had no idea.. I’m not generally oblivious I don’t think? Or maybe I am.
Regardless, I really don’t think there was the remotest of things there. Ok we’re clear.
So this girl comes over to get painted and she brings her cousin, which we knew well from work, but he just hung out awkwardly in the other room talking into his hands while I painted her. really, he was all but ignored, I just found that weird. If you’re so opposed to the sight of a naked body, why are you here?
So she and I discuss the shoot and the painting session, what it feels like and so on. This being probably the first time I had done this with somebody and it not being intended as a romantic or an intimate thing; everything had to be natural and comfortable for both of us.
I stared blindly down at my paints as she stripped naked, making sure to give the “not Gawking” vibe. There’s a beautiful woman undressing of-fucking-course I want to watch, but come on. Unless you’ve been invited…
This is all for the sake of pushing boundaries, as everything is. What fun exciting wild things can we come up with.. It wasn’t SUPPOSED to be a thing, but for those 45 minutes or so the room was pure electric.
There is no communication in the world like eye contact. This is not what either of us actually signed up for. I can actually see her body quaking. My hand is shaking about a thousand miles an hour, I can’t swallow. We were an awkward pair with an energy that had literally NOWHERE to go. So we painted. We had issues with painting near her Vagina. The air would spray across her, creating intense sensations. At one point she leaned back and grabbed a fist full of the black curtain. I looked up to see her eyes closed. I waited a just a moment before I stopped, then suggested maybe we’d just do the fake blood and be done. We did some sloshing and spritzing, and were ready to photograph.
This shoot turned out to be one of the most hauntingly beautiful shoots I’ve done. She was just amazing. She was so ultra confident like she radiated it. Never once did we touch, but being that close… whew.
Whatever that thing was that vibrated between us inside of that electric microcosm of time led us to a wonderful set of photos.
Neither of us ever came out and talked about it, but eyes can sometimes say more than any words.
Wormwood
We’ve blurred the lines so thoroughly.
The feeling of utter surrender, her inside of you and your body pressed firmly into mine. Your shape imprinted well beyond the constraints of physical form.
Entangled in sweat, alcohol, and bodily fluids, with all the primal nature of the earthly forms were trapped in.
Three become one intermingled hive of writhing stimulation. And in a moment of time that could have been hours or lifetimes we were perpetually locked.
A Dream in France
I dreamt I was attending a school function after hours and as I was standing in the hallway I heard a commotion. Two boys were fist-fighting. They couldn't have been older than preschool aged, but they were fighting. Maliciously, closed fists just pounding each other. I rushed up to the boys along side another woman whom I did not know, intending to break the fight up.
We split the boys up and the woman led the first boy away. The second boy had grown younger during the time it took to separate the two. Now toddler sized, I reached to pick him up, but he slipped through my fingers. I was so scared I would hurt him. I knew that dropping him could cause permanent damage. I reached to pick him up again and again but he kept slipping through my fingers, and each time he fell he grew younger and smaller.
Finally I was able to pick him up. I handed him to a nearby young woman there in the hallway, but she could not hold him either. The now infantile boy slipped to the floor head first. I looked in horror at this once crying baby, now silenced. Its head lay split open on the floor. Leaking out however was the vibrant yellow yolk of an egg
. I remember looking at the yolk-y mess surrounding the baby’s body and the young woman crying hysterically and feeling completely helpless.
Then I woke up.
Religious practices
When the moon smiles down in her radiant dress of silver dreams. Full faced, resplendent.
In a circle of salt we’ll dance.
With candles and alters and sometimes our blood we make celestial promises to gods whose faces we are wholly incapable of looking upon.
For second sight we’ll give almost anything.
When death sleeps, he dreams of her. With black wings and talons her children tend to the darkness. They call out to us in the distance, cackling as ravens do.
Dressed in black undulating smoke, touting equal parts desire and wrath beyond compare. Incestiously, could a divine being really be?
This queen of queens.
A Goddess among Goddesses.
When death sleeps, he indeed dreams of her.
Tonight and for all my mortal days; while her ravens gather round the writing fire screaming from the tops of the trees. In an orgasmic blur of incense and infused Wormwood, together, we’ll dance.
Carnival
The cars are cutting down the high street and this guy has rode by at least twice; nice and close on his bicycle.
The car windows are fogged up from hot breath and together we barely fit back here. Your sundress up around your waste and your fingers in my hair, we could have blasted off into oblivion right then and there.
“Will you two be long? Is there enough time to ride a few more rides? “
It’s a miracle I remember anything outside the depth of your eyes and the sweat running down your throat between your breasts.
We fell out of her car almost as hard as we fell into each other. Nevermind the looks, peoples jealousy towards eccentric sex has always been a poorly fitting mask of judgment and condemnation.
But at night, in their rooms, behind tightly drawn curtains and tighter eyelids. Beneath the lackluster touch of their bored partner. They’ll think about us and cum; for the first time in a year.
Nazi Punks Fuck off
We put together this concert once in a skatepark in Youngstown in an effort to bring a wider audience to the bands we were booking at the time.
It was one of those deals where we had to haul in a PA, Monitors, run mics and all the cabling. The whole deal. We booked Die Like A Samurai whom we were putting on just about everything we booked at the time, I believe Disgust for the Weak as well.
Both in the metalcore vain.
So We get there and get set up. We were even on time, which didn’t happen much. Everything was great.
Anyone who books shows knows what it’s like to troll through venue events to find bands in certain areas. It’s a super valuable tool. Well we were on MySpace, so we didn’t have that luxury. We hit up Youngstown locals & locked in two bands. Poof, bobs your uncle.
So the show is going swimmingly, two bands down. The second band from Youngstown gets up and starts doing their thing. They’re young as shit. 14, 15, shredding this early 00 garage grind.
Since we were accustomed to dead empty shows from time to time we made a habit of always standing up front, nice and close.
So the band finishes this song, and the singer said says that this next one is for “his boi Hitler” and they all start pouring their 40oz mil-best on the floor and hailing. The guitarist busts into this riff and just about two notes in Joe reaches up and yanks his guitar cable out.
The whole band was stupefied.
The utter astonishment on this kid’s face was amazing. He had literally no idea what to do. The whole band quickly recovered and were now squaring up to fight. Thankfully we didn’t get any more Nazi music.
Somehow we managed to tear down and load all the gear while our friends fended off kids with skateboards. I Remember Aron (DlaS, Cheap Heat) waving an 8 foot steel pole at a horde of kids. Apparently the pole worked because I remember him with it quite a lot.
The police finally came, somebody not involved with the show had called when they heard the disruptions over the noise of the bar she was in.
This was the last time we put a show on in either Youngstown or a skatepark.
Not long after this the band Attila from Georgia would come to stay the weekend and eat spaghetti. For their second time through Ohio with us. This would also be one of the final shows we put on together.
The courtship of Nina Rich
Watching the tower flats in the burning skyline continuously melt into one another. While we sit with spread legs, fucked by the ocean with a head full.
Laying in a hotel bed with a lover and a partner. Somebody blowing k and smoking dmt. Can you count a person who’s body is a just placemarker for their mind while it spins and whirls disconnected in the cosmos? Are the even there?
Our adventurous compatriots leave for the respite of earthly nourishment. we’re spun out and horny, and here we’ll set the tone of the rest of our lives.
We made viscous love, all the more erotic with a past lover sleeping in bed with us.
The following weekend would tell of more public sex and boutique substances than I had hither to ever expected to partake in.
Finally at the end, we woke naked on the sand while the sun was rising. We watched it burn over the ocean like a fever dream as convicts in jumpsuits and leg chains on their early morning trash rounds gawked and cheered our previous nights adventures.
Heaven…. are you really waiting outside the door?